"Oblivious" by EMMA

"Oblivious" by EMMA

   17:18       Emma

---

Hello, It has been a while, right? 

I haven't written anything here for more than a year, a lot has happened and yet I don't know what to write, nothing seems of importance, nothing feels worthy of mentioning, nothing comes to mind, even words which used to give me a little bit of comfort doesn't have much of an effect anymore, I forced myself to come here or else I would've gone mad.

Everything just seems empty and pointless, everything I hold dear doesn't seem that way anymore, I've lost interest in many things but I keep pretending like I care still, I keep telling myself this is how you should feel about this and that, this is what you should do because, to be honest, I don't know what else to do or feel. 

I am truly hurt... by what? I have no idea, I am both numb and in deep pain, I don't know which way to go or who to turn to, everyone else is going through shit like me, I am well aware that there are people who care and love me, they want to help me or ease up my pain a little but honestly I can't afford to add my misery to theirs. 

I want it all to stop giving me a lot of pain and grief, I want everyone to do what they are supposed to do instead of pushing everything to me because that's the easier way to get things done, I keep acting, pretending, putting a smile on my face and trying to make everyone else feel better? But you see, I am afraid that I am losing my real self, piece by piece as I go on in this life. 

I wish I was oblivious to my own suffering...

• "Maybe you're dead inside and don't even know it. - Author: Bryant McGill".

• "I'm saying it's totally oblivious to how people feel. Take the ocean, for instance. You can love it, but it doesn't love you back. It will suck you under and steal your breath and beauty can make you cry, or that the sound of the tide coming in at night is the best lullaby you ever heard. - Author: D. Anne Love".

• "Unless you are oblivious to your own suffering, you have no right to be oblivious to other people's suffering. - Author: Jaggi Vasudev".

• "No matter how much you try to pretend and force yourself and maybe fight against love and try to forget or be oblivious to it, there's no way to fight it. I think when it's there, it's there. - Author: Olga Kurylenko".

• "You carry about in your own selfish world completely oblivious to the things that really upset me and then wonder what it is you've done wrong. - Author: Mike Gayle".

• "I looked at myself in that window, oblivious to all the people around me and I stared and smiled that particular smile. You know that smile that seems to knock you and tell you how pathetic you are? That's the smile I was smiling. - Author: Markus Zusak".

• " If you're oblivious to other people, chances are pretty good that you're going to hurt them. - Author: William Deresiewicz".